Courtroom Culture Buff Gifts

Lawyer to fellow lawyer: 'Congratulations on your precedent-setting mumbo jumbo!'

I love Lawyers

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"I object!" "Overruled!"

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

"Not guilty?"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

Yawning barristers in court

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

"Impartiality becomes you."

"Manafort's was the best flip yet."

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

'For ever 'no-no' there's a legal 'yes-yes'.'

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

"You don't have to answer that."

"Can you hear me now?"

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

Counsel's Opinion.

"Let's take in a trial."