Courtroom Drama Buff Gifts

Truth, Justice, Mercy (As Seen on TV)

Defendant concerned at how her outfit has been reported in the proceedings

"Police believe the gunman acted alone. True. My client's an actor and believed he was auditioning for a part."

Trial by Media

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

Barristers

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

"You want answers?" "I want the truth!" "You can't handle the infinite explanation of cosmological arguments relating to the truth!"

Robert Macaire as a Solicitor

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

Contest of wills.

"My client greatly regrets the incident with the carving knife. However, in her defense, 14 people were coming for Thanksgiving and her husband, who had just one job to do, bought only 8 rolls."

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'Why is it always about me?'

"Please accept the apologies of this court. You're free to go now, and, by the way, here's your DNA back."