Court Life Buff Gifts

'That's Lady Erica the courtesan's courtesan.'

"You're fired."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

Sue the Author 3PM

Planet of the Lawyers

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

Lady to man in netted car: 'Stinkin' speed trap.'

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

'Mrs Witch, you're being accused of using a poisoned apple to send a young girl into a death-like sleep. I'm placing you under arrest for the possession of illegal drugs.'

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'Why is it always about me?'

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'This is just a routine check, sir - who did you vote for in the last election?'

"I've got a wall I need to get to, officer."

"Jughead, Reggie, Betty, and Veronica—they've all been locked up. But you, Archie—I had higher hopes for you."

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

"I was forced into early retirement. Is that even legal?"

Privatized Jails

Newton's Law and Order.

"I think it's a subpoena!"

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

"As your attorney, I must strongly advise you against bringing the high heat."

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

Ignorance of the Law

Upholding the Law

"My agent."

Judge

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."

'With all the new laws being proposed, our tomatoes with founder genes may soon be an endangered species.'