Court Case Buff Gifts

"Your Honor, Mr. Jones is a waiter and claims he thought the $75,000 in stolen bank funds were left for a tip."

"You're fired."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

Barristers

Sue the Author 3PM

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

Planet of the Lawyers

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

"He belongs to a lawyer."

Lady to man in netted car: 'Stinkin' speed trap.'

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

'Mrs Witch, you're being accused of using a poisoned apple to send a young girl into a death-like sleep. I'm placing you under arrest for the possession of illegal drugs.'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

'Why is it always about me?'

"I was forced into early retirement. Is that even legal?"

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

'This is just a routine check, sir - who did you vote for in the last election?'

Privatized Jails

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

Newton's Law and Order.

"Jughead, Reggie, Betty, and Veronica—they've all been locked up. But you, Archie—I had higher hopes for you."

"I've got a wall I need to get to, officer."

"I think it's a subpoena!"

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

"As your attorney, I must strongly advise you against bringing the high heat."

Upholding the Law

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

Ignorance of the Law

Judge

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."