Trial Buff Gifts

'Your Honor, we the jury have leapt to a conclusion.'

'Oh well, that's law. Yesterday, I had the jury eating out of my hand. Today, they give you life.'

'There's no 'i' in team ... but there's plenty in litigation.'

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

"Your Honor, despite being on trial, may I sit in on deliberations?"

You're awfully cheerful for someone who's about to lose a murder case. You must have me confused with my client.

'... And you'll be pleased to learn that my fees are reassuringly expensive.'

' I think now would be a good time to adjourn for lunch.'

'Weren't you listening? -- I said NOT guilty!'

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'

'You know a little something about the legal system. I like that in a lawyer.'

'You're innocent until proven guilty, young fellow -- better enjoy it while you can!'

"Your Honor, the State maintains the accused is an obvious flight risk."

"You're fired."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

Sue the Author 3PM

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"I told him he should have trained more."

Planet of the Lawyers

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

"It's the cat doc, he scares me."

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

"I worked hard, I played hard and I embezzled hard."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

Lady to man in netted car: 'Stinkin' speed trap.'

"He belongs to a lawyer."

Best System in the World

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."