Celebrity Trial Buff Gifts

"Oh, it's not a circus, it's Michael Jackson's trial motorcade!"

The Further Temptations of Kenneth Starr

"There is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. Lol. Winky face."

Boarway Show

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

TV Producers Workshop. The first goal of a series to avoid cancellation long enough to issue a DVD set. Get boxed before you get canned!

"When the boss says jump, I say how high."

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'

'Where was I on the night of the 7th of August? I was home washing my hair.'

"Your Honor, Mr. Jones is a waiter and claims he thought the $75,000 in stolen bank funds were left for a tip."

"Your Honor, despite being on trial, may I sit in on deliberations?"

' I think now would be a good time to adjourn for lunch.'

'I love appearing on stage. My only regret is that I can't be in the audience to fully appreciate my work.'

"Your Honor, all this pretrial publicity has made my client look fat."

"You want to be a lawyer, do you? That could be construed as obstruction of justice!"

"May we have a moment, your honor. My client hasn't quite memorized the script."

Crucial testimony in the case of Cinderella vs. the Association of Fairy Godmothers.

Before it even began this would become one of the longest trials on record.

'I guess there's a lack of big trials. Court TV is carrying a tennis match.'

'... And you'll be pleased to learn that my fees are reassuringly expensive.'

Attorneys - Practice Limited To Big Juicy Cases.

Fatuous, Vacuous & Superfluous: celebrity lawyers.

'You're innocent until proven guilty, young fellow -- better enjoy it while you can!'

"Henry is addicted to all of the Court programs."

"The jury doesn't want to visit the crime site again, your honor. They want to go to Disneyland instead!"

"Of course I stand behind my work, counselor. I'm a proctologist."

Nate was Martha Stewart's biggest fan. 'Hi, I'm Nate. I love all your work.I can't tell you how excited I am to finally meet you!'

'I've not been myself lately'

'Your Honor, we the jury have leapt to a conclusion.'

'There's no 'i' in team ... but there's plenty in litigation.'

'Oh yeah? Well, Murphy's law doesn't apply here.'

'Weren't you listening? -- I said NOT guilty!'

"I've lost face."

Manure Rights

"We call ourselves the 3 Geniuses. Unfortunately, we never quite caught on."