Tv Trial Buffs Gifts

'I guess there's a lack of big trials. Court TV is carrying a tennis match.'

Trial by Media

Television Readers.

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

7 Dwarves of Retirement

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

"You can't plead cute."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

Homo Zapiens

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

Tunnel of TV

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"If I were you, I wouldn't change the channel!"

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

'You should know better than to switch channels during a Garfield special.'

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

"We need to walk."

"See, Honey, I told you that TV would fit in this room!"

7 Dwarves of Fatherhood

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

'I know that other kids manage on ?5 pocket money - but their parents don't charge them to watch any television programme their parents don't happen to approve off!'

CELEBRITY NEWS TEAM"Now here's Frank Sinatra with the weather."

'I've been watching TV all my life. I was born cable ready.'

"Arthur, the bird's gone and done it again."

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

"I've appeared in Eastenders."

'Come on, you're telling me that you don't watch the Discovery Channel.'