Tv Trial Buffs Gifts

'I guess there's a lack of big trials. Court TV is carrying a tennis match.'

Trial by Media

Television Readers.

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"You can't plead cute."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

Tunnel of TV

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

Homo Zapiens

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"If I were you, I wouldn't change the channel!"

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

'You should know better than to switch channels during a Garfield special.'

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

"See, Honey, I told you that TV would fit in this room!"

'Come on, you're telling me that you don't watch the Discovery Channel.'

"China now says it will withdraw its opposition to the missile-defense shield if the F.B.I. builds it."

'I've been watching TV all my life. I was born cable ready.'

'I know that other kids manage on ?5 pocket money - but their parents don't charge them to watch any television programme their parents don't happen to approve off!'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"Arthur, the bird's gone and done it again."

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."