Coupons Gifts

'I'm sorry but this computer coupon is good only when printed on a color printer.'

'Times are a bit tough for the Tooth Fairy, so please accept these valuable discount coupons in lieu of cash.'

I have a coupon for half off an $8 blueberry muffin. That's be $8.

'They've got a great deal here. When you buy one meal, I get mine half price!'

'This is very uncommon with men. . . coupon clipper's wrist.'

'I never dreamed we were responsible for the coupon manufacturer paying the grocer.'

"Dog food coupons! Dog food coupons!"

"Yes I know it says they have a value of one mil, sir, but I can't take these coupons for a deposit!"

A Valentine's Day IOU Coupon

Cut Price

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"The pizza came late and it was cold!"

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

Unusual Offers

Yes, dear, I remembered the coupons and saved a few dollars. The Adventures of Marriedman.

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

"How much is the sign?"

'Do you have any coupons?'

'I'm sure I've forgotten something. I got change from a fifty.'

Shopping Torture

Sale today - 50% off everything!

'Darn, all these coupons are expired. We could have saved 50 cents on 9 cans of dog food.' 'We don't have a dog.'

"Who gets the Chateaubriand with the mail-in rebate?"

Hole Sale

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

'Shove' (at big sale).

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

What You Came In For In The First Place And Forgot Aisle.