Coupon Aficionados Gifts

"This is the amount you have to pay Casanova. This is NOT my phone number."

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

Unusual Offers

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

'I like this new alcohol labelling.'

'Darn, all these coupons are expired. We could have saved 50 cents on 9 cans of dog food.' 'We don't have a dog.'

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

'Do you have any coupons?'

'What split would you settle for, fifty fifty?' - 'As long as I get the hyphen as well.'

What You Came In For In The First Place And Forgot Aisle.

'You realize, of course, there's nothing wrong with me. . . I'm only here 'cause of your 50%-off-first-visit coupon and I am not a serial bargain shopaholic.'

"So with 50% sale discount, plus the 30% early bird reduction, a 10% bonus for paying in full and a $100 cash back... we owe you $1.75"

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

Time-Off Coupons

"Dog food coupons! Dog food coupons!"

'We must be nearing land. It's a discount coupon from the island's mall.'

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

'See, money can buy happiness and I have a dollar off coupon, too!'

'It's okay -- I had a coupon.'

"I came in because of your two-for-the-price-of-one coupons."

"I'm sorry, but this has expired."

"I actually have a groupon for a fourth wish."

Gross Outrage.

'I never dreamed we were responsible for the coupon manufacturer paying the grocer.'

"I like to reward productive employees. Here's a 50% off voucher for the vending machine."

'Sir, wait! You can't go yet! The register hasn't finished spitting out all your valuable coupons.'

Lemonade, 50? ? After 25? mail-in rebate.

'No Christmas bonus this year, but you will find some valuable coupons printed on the back of your paycheck!'

'New! A bonus island of flavor!'

'This coupon expired last week. Would you like to go back to redeem it?'