Coupon Connoisseur Gifts

'New! A bonus island of flavor!'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

'I preferred her in the margarine commercial.'

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"The big money doesn't seem to be in Pretzels anymore."

"They must be having a two-for-one promotion tonight."

Creative department ?

Man sleeping with newspaper at gentlemen's club

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

Wonder Woman: "Trapped in a Man's World"

'Do you have any coupons?'

The Croucho Club

'This course is a great ego builder.'

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

"$68,000? You said that deceptive ad would cost me $23,000."

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

'Actually, I was hoping for oversized with a graphite shaft'

"I gave him 'the old one two' just like you told me to. But then he gave me 'the old three four'."

"It's not just a special advertising section,- it's a very special advertising section."

You'd like the eco club. We do good stuff. I'm sure. But there are a lot of clubs. Right? Right. And they all need "diversity," right? So you need to cut the best deal. West Fester High School. I have attractive offers from the debate team, chess club and the cheerleaders. Our 100% green t-shirt doesn't entice you.

Employee Benefits

"I don't know - none of these cookies offer an engaging brand narrative."

'I can't identify with any brand emotionally!'

"Don't worry, she's still alcohol aware."

"Gucci, Gucci, Gucci."

'I ordered it from the catalog.'

"Dry sherry sir..?"

"Hey, wanna get kinky and read each other's catalogues?"

Honk if you love Jesus. Jesus Cruz's Bar & Grill 12mi. ahead.

"Here's a blues number I wrote anout paying my dues with the cash back I got on my platinum card."

'I do not change the building codes every week. I do it every other week.'

"So what books don't you get around to reading?"