Coupon Clipping Enthusiast Gifts

"That one's expired, too?"

Cut Price

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

Unusual Offers

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

Yes, dear, I remembered the coupons and saved a few dollars. The Adventures of Marriedman.

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

'Do you have any coupons?'

"Who gets the Chateaubriand with the mail-in rebate?"

'I'm sure I've forgotten something. I got change from a fifty.'

'Darn, all these coupons are expired. We could have saved 50 cents on 9 cans of dog food.' 'We don't have a dog.'

Sale today - 50% off everything!

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

'You realize, of course, there's nothing wrong with me. . . I'm only here 'cause of your 50%-off-first-visit coupon and I am not a serial bargain shopaholic.'

What You Came In For In The First Place And Forgot Aisle.

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

"So with 50% sale discount, plus the 30% early bird reduction, a 10% bonus for paying in full and a $100 cash back... we owe you $1.75"

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

Time-Off Coupons

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

'See, money can buy happiness and I have a dollar off coupon, too!'

'We must be nearing land. It's a discount coupon from the island's mall.'

"Dog food coupons! Dog food coupons!"

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons that the dollar...'

'It's okay -- I had a coupon.'

"Do you have a minute for a problem whose solution has eluded humanity since the dawn of civilization?"