Coupon Collectors Gifts

'You realize, of course, there's nothing wrong with me. . . I'm only here 'cause of your 50%-off-first-visit coupon and I am not a serial bargain shopaholic.'

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

'It's okay -- I had a coupon.'

It's tough staying on a diet. I buy a quart of milk and the cash register spits out coupons for cakes,cookies and pies!

'I never dreamed we were responsible for the coupon manufacturer paying the grocer.'

"Number 2. Step forward please."

Unusual Offers

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

'Do you have any coupons?'

'Darn, all these coupons are expired. We could have saved 50 cents on 9 cans of dog food.' 'We don't have a dog.'

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

What You Came In For In The First Place And Forgot Aisle.

"So with 50% sale discount, plus the 30% early bird reduction, a 10% bonus for paying in full and a $100 cash back... we owe you $1.75"

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

Time-Off Coupons

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

'See, money can buy happiness and I have a dollar off coupon, too!'

"Dog food coupons! Dog food coupons!"

'We must be nearing land. It's a discount coupon from the island's mall.'

'It's okay -- I had a coupon.'

"I'm taking me voucher and going to circus school."

'Sir, wait! You can't go yet! The register hasn't finished spitting out all your valuable coupons.'

"I like to reward productive employees. Here's a 50% off voucher for the vending machine."

Afro comb farmer - "That's a fine looking afro comb you're growin there, Jeb."

"I actually have a groupon for a fourth wish."

"I came in because of your two-for-the-price-of-one coupons."

"I'm sorry, but this has expired."

Lemonade, 50? ? After 25? mail-in rebate.

'Your first lesson is free.'

'No Christmas bonus this year, but you will find some valuable coupons printed on the back of your paycheck!'

'New! A bonus island of flavor!'