Coupon Hoarder Gifts

"And WHO let those $10 in ExtraBucks die?"

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

Unusual Offers

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

"I'll need all the information you can find on why I need so much information."

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"When I opened my cupboards at home they were full of junk food, when I opened my mailbox it was full of junk mail. I'm always afraid to open my portfolio balance."

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

Many certificates of achievement on the wall.

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

'Do you have any coupons?'

'Darn, all these coupons are expired. We could have saved 50 cents on 9 cans of dog food.' 'We don't have a dog.'

'I made a backup disc. Then I realized I wanted a backup of the backup. Then I decided just to be safe, to make a backup of that backup...'

'You realize, of course, there's nothing wrong with me. . . I'm only here 'cause of your 50%-off-first-visit coupon and I am not a serial bargain shopaholic.'

What You Came In For In The First Place And Forgot Aisle.

"Since time is an issue, I didn't have time to organize my receipts."

"Bad news Dad, I've just received an e-Alert: The farmer's wife has downloaded a "Coq au Vin" recipe..."

"So with 50% sale discount, plus the 30% early bird reduction, a 10% bonus for paying in full and a $100 cash back... we owe you $1.75"

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

'It will be a big wedding, I invited all 2679 of my facebook friends,'

Junk Mail.

'See, money can buy happiness and I have a dollar off coupon, too!'

'We must be nearing land. It's a discount coupon from the island's mall.'

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

"Dog food coupons! Dog food coupons!"

Time-Off Coupons

"Run! My laptop is so full of apps, downloads, old documents, screenshots and junk files, it's about to explode!"

"Harry Potter and the chamber of obsolete electronics."

'It's okay -- I had a coupon.'

'If the Mayan calendar is right, how should I back up my files?'

"I like to reward productive employees. Here's a 50% off voucher for the vending machine."

"I'm sorry, but this has expired."