Coupon Collector Gifts

'I'm torn between brand loyalty & changing trends in the consumer experience.'

'Wait...I have a coupon.'

'Your first lesson is free.'

You break your neck to get a quarter, but you refuse to clip a coupon!

'No Christmas bonus this year, but you will find some valuable coupons printed on the back of your paycheck!'

'This coupon expired last week. Would you like to go back to redeem it?'

'It doesn't matter when we schedule your surgery, Mrs. Root. We don't accept coupons.'

What You Came In For In The First Place And Forgot Aisle.

"Why are so many people waiting an hour before the store opens, Mr. Freep?"

'Today we learned how to clip coupons and vacuum.'

'Do you have any idea how long it took me to organize those coupons?'

"With your coupons,veterans and seniors discounts, it appears we owe you $5.38."

'He's excited to find a quarter, but refuses to shop with a coupon.'

'I applied the instant rebate and the returning customer loyalty reward. So that comes to fifty cents.'

"The deciding factor that got us to hire you above all the others was the 20% off coupon you added to your resume."

'It's okay -- I had a coupon.'

"So with 50% sale discount, plus the 30% early bird reduction, a 10% bonus for paying in full and a $100 cash back... we owe you $1.75"

'I cut a deal. Seven years. Even less if I ever remember to mail in this ‘Get two years off' rebate coupon.'

'Thank you very much and here are some Clip 'N' Save coupons for any future bribes.'

'Why am I always odd man out on a 'two for one' lunch coupons.'

Unusual Offers

'Sir, wait! You can't go yet! The register hasn't finished spitting out all your valuable coupons.'

Beggar with cash back offer

'And here's some money-off vouchers for you to use in January.'

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

"Dog food coupons! Dog food coupons!"

"I came in because of your two-for-the-price-of-one coupons."

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

"It doesn't work that way - you ave to buy a pizza to put them on."

"Bad news. The competition brought in 13 coupons and seventy thousand reasonable facsimiles."

"I like to reward productive employees. Here's a 50% off voucher for the vending machine."

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

"I'm finally remembering shopping lists and coupons. Now I forget my reusable bag!"

'She says she has a thousand coupons and she wants to buy our store.'

"Hi, and welcome to Val-U-Mart, you cheap son-of-a-bitch!"