Coupons Prints

'I'm sorry but this computer coupon is good only when printed on a color printer.'

'Times are a bit tough for the Tooth Fairy, so please accept these valuable discount coupons in lieu of cash.'

'They've got a great deal here. When you buy one meal, I get mine half price!'

'This is very uncommon with men. . . coupon clipper's wrist.'

'I never dreamed we were responsible for the coupon manufacturer paying the grocer.'

"Dog food coupons! Dog food coupons!"

"Yes I know it says they have a value of one mil, sir, but I can't take these coupons for a deposit!"

A Valentine's Day IOU Coupon

Cut Price

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"The pizza came late and it was cold!"

Unusual Offers

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

"How much is the sign?"

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

Shopping Torture

Hole Sale

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

'Darn, all these coupons are expired. We could have saved 50 cents on 9 cans of dog food.' 'We don't have a dog.'

'I'm sure I've forgotten something. I got change from a fifty.'

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

"Who gets the Chateaubriand with the mail-in rebate?"

'Do you have any coupons?'

Sale today - 50% off everything!

'Shove' (at big sale).

What You Came In For In The First Place And Forgot Aisle.

'You realize, of course, there's nothing wrong with me. . . I'm only here 'cause of your 50%-off-first-visit coupon and I am not a serial bargain shopaholic.'

'So do you want one with an accelerator, or one with brakes?'

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"