Couponing Gifts

"I found some more acorns today."

'Wait...I have a coupon.'

'You realize, of course, there's nothing wrong with me. . . I'm only here 'cause of your 50%-off-first-visit coupon and I am not a serial bargain shopaholic.'

'This is very uncommon with men...'coupon clipper's wrist'.'

What You Came In For In The First Place And Forgot Aisle.

"At least he went quick. Although not quick enough, I'm afraid. This discount coupon expired last month."

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

'This is very uncommon with men, Mr. Beegley... 'Coupon Clippers Wrist'.'

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

'My mom doesn't use recipes, she uses pizza coupons.'

I think it's genetic. My mother also has a way with coupons.

'Expired coupons - still trying to redeem themselves.'

'This is the express lane. You're limited to 9 coupons.'

'Here's the sale coupon that says 'two for one' so you don't overcharge us.'

''May you have 10 items or less and your coupons be current as you travel the Express Lane of life.' Old supermarket blessing.'

It's tough staying on a diet. I buy a quart of milk and the cash register spits out coupons for cakes,cookies and pies!

'Sir, wait! You can't go yet! The register hasn't finished spitting out all your valuable coupons.'

'Look, is it 'Buy one - get one free', or 'Two for the price of one'?'

"Actually, we call these coupons, not 'money saving apps.''

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

"Oh great! It's the Coupocalypse."

"That one's expired, too?"

"It's not a coupons. It's a printout from your health insurer warning you to cut back on the carbs."

Aggressive grocery shopping

'Michael left me because of my extreme couponing...at least I think he left me.'

I accept cents off coupons.

'And use any of our 10c off Campbells Soup coupons for your dinner while we're gone, Patty.' 'Except for the alphabet soup coupons... those are mine.'

'This coupon has expired, sir, and so have you.'

'She says she has a thousand coupons and she wants to buy our store.'

'Do you have any coupons?'

"I knew there was no Santa. These are all the candies Mom had coupons for."

Battle of the Supermarkets

"I actually have a groupon for a fourth wish."

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

Yes, dear, I remembered the coupons and saved a few dollars. The Adventures of Marriedman.