Coupon Guru Gifts

"But I thought you accepted competitor coupons?"

Cut Price

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

Unusual Offers

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

Garage Sale (sign originally read 'Garbage' sale).

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

A Valentine's Day IOU Coupon

'They've got a great deal here. When you buy one meal, I get mine half price!'

"Pot of gold?! Nobody uses cash these days! Do you fancy a couple of gift cards?"

'Darn, all these coupons are expired. We could have saved 50 cents on 9 cans of dog food.' 'We don't have a dog.'

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

'I'm sure I've forgotten something. I got change from a fifty.'

'Do you have any coupons?'

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

What You Came In For In The First Place And Forgot Aisle.

'You realize, of course, there's nothing wrong with me. . . I'm only here 'cause of your 50%-off-first-visit coupon and I am not a serial bargain shopaholic.'

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

"So with 50% sale discount, plus the 30% early bird reduction, a 10% bonus for paying in full and a $100 cash back... we owe you $1.75"

'See, money can buy happiness and I have a dollar off coupon, too!'

'We must be nearing land. It's a discount coupon from the island's mall.'

Time-Off Coupons

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

"I'll have all that, and this."

"Dog food coupons! Dog food coupons!"

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons that the dollar...'

'It's okay -- I had a coupon.'

UK supermarket to employ 20,000: 'Don't forget madam, if you spend over ?40 we'll give you a member of staff to take home with you.'