Couples Therapy Fan Gifts

"I had an out of my body experience and he had an out of his mind experience."

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

"Hon, do you think it's time you took a break from the light therapy lamp?"

'I'm not a happy bunny.'

"Has it occurred to you that you keep getting beaten up because that's your true purpose in life?"

DIY marriage counseling.

"Trust me. This is going to make it easier to discuss your childhood."

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"Where can I find some peace of mind?"

"This week we're going to try some regression therapy."

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"It's my 30-day chip. One month catnip free."

"Krazy straw"

'This wasn't quite what I had in mind when you suggested 'alternative medicine''

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

'I keep thinking I'm being watched...'

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

"How do you feel about turning over?"

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

Therapy for the cow dependent

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

'Extreme acupuncture.'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

Men and Women's changing rooms

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."