Country House Holiday Gifts

Conversation at a country house

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'Life is great' down on the farm.

'Couldn't you just bring a bucket and spade like other children?'

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Country Bumpkin.

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

"Excuse me, but for some reason you have us traveling with our kids."

Amusement Park Fun (Country Style).

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

Several generations live together in Cuba

High Riders of the Old West

I fart more than that!

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

"You were the one who thought it was too dangerous to raise a child in the big city."

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

'Thirty years from now, this will seem terribly quaint and awash in charming period detail.'

"And so another trip comes to an end...with family brought closer together by a shared experience."

"Here's to East, West, South and Bridgehampton, and all the little Hamptons in between."

I wouldn't mind so much, but it's all junk mail.

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

'I think dad is beginning to regret falling asleep on the beach!'

Mobsters at the Beach

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

Summer in Elysium and The long vacation in Arcadia

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

It was a good idea to let the kids bring their friends...

'This is almost as good as 'Sea World'.'

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"