Countryside Vacation Gifts

'Would you like to book an early morning call?'

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

Humans...What is their purpose?

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

Allotment

'Life is great' down on the farm.

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

Country Bumpkin.

Mother Nature

'It's 'baa baa' here and 'baa baa' there, until I'm just about nuts.'

'How very Cumbria.'

"It seemed like miles to me!"

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

Walkers

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

"It's God's country, if your god wears camouflage and dips tobacco."

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

"I always forget how much louder they sound in the country."

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

"Static cling."

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

Get on with it!

Thatched roof car.

A Venus cow trap.

'I'm sorry, your cheese has not matured enough!'

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

A Day in the Country.

Wherever the Trail Leads. . .

"Relax. They're just crows."

Holiday cottage

Summer in Elysium and The long vacation in Arcadia

'The country is awfully deep, but the falling is delightfully soft and safe'

"We should get out to the country more often."

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."