Coulrophobic Chuckles Gifts

Insane clown college.

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil clowns is that good clowns do nothing."

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

Jesus Christ

'...and on that you have my word.'

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

Marmalade the Cheetah on stilts.

The Big Four debate banking ethics

'Some people feel they've entered a dark, claustrophobic place, from which there's no escape...'

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

'I wish you'd stay focused Simpson!'

'I don't know. I woke up with it after preaching last weeks sermon...'

'I didn't think you'd like spelunking, but do you listen to me? Heck, no.'

'Yes, I did receive your resume. As a matter of fact, I'm passing it around the office as we speak.'

"Is he still there?"

The coward's way out.

"If you fits, you sits!"

'Time's up, chuckles.'

-What did the carrot say to the onion? -What? -Nothing, vegetables don't talk!

"I've found it the easiest way to administer nose drops!"

Man buying 'Caviar Wiz'

'Fortunately, the virus is dormant. Just be careful you don't wake it up.'

"There's only one of them roaming around now. The others are in self-isolation."

Now playing: Sideways.

... I want you to sit in and keep prompting me not to swear.

"I don't know what it is, but there's something about them that really gives me the creeps."

Hello, you have reached the Johnsons. All of our family members are currently busy sharing the events of their day. Please continue to hold, and the next available 4-year-old will be with you shortly. Machines Programmed for Telemarketers.

'More specifically I have a fear of clowns that own fast food franchises.'

"I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism"

Man looks dismayed as voice on TV says: 'If you're a digital viewer, press your red button now for bonus footage and behind-the-scenes extras' everyone else ... oh, just get lost.'

"Sometimes I just want a nice salad."