Claustrophobia Humorist Gifts

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

"I feel proud of the success I've made, thanks for all your support."

How is your soup, sir? Speaking for myself, it looks pretty good. I can't speak for the fly, of course.

Superhero with Acrophobia

A Not So Grand Slam.

'Some people feel they've entered a dark, claustrophobic place, from which there's no escape...'

Last mirage for the next 20 miles.

The insurance giants do battle, ironically costing their own companies billions of dollars in claims,

Freak Accident Specialist

Cotton candy

"Stay back. I don't know what he's got, but I'm afraid it's catching."

"Has anyone fed the goldfish?"

'Since my baby left me, I found a new place to dwell. It's not in the pie or the baby's prunes - it's on 'Heartbreak Motel' Oh baby, so lonely...'

'What seems to be the problem?'

Missile attending a 'Fear of flying course'

On the planet Clowny, they are afraid of us.

Fly having an idea.

You guys ever think he might be a control freak?

Dinosaur scared of a mouse.

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

'I didn't think you'd like spelunking, but do you listen to me? Heck, no.'

"Well done!"

That guy? He does static shock.

The coward's way out.

"If you fits, you sits!"

Man in tuxedo afraid to fire his gun.

How to tell that it's Howie Mandel's dog you're dealing with.

The end is nigh.

'I'll see the ones with clean underwear first.'

Of all the days to sleep in!