Coulrophobia Conqueror Gifts

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil clowns is that good clowns do nothing."

'More specifically I have a fear of clowns that own fast food franchises.'

"Is he still there?"

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"Here we are."

What My Day Feels Like

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

Trays on desk read: In/Out/Lose in the Shuffle.

The Adrenal Gland Answers Your Questions

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

IN OUT UP DOWN AND ALL AROUND

In Tray, Out Tray, and Shredded Paper Tray

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

J. Wilbert Dentist - Sorry We're Open

Riding the Rollercoaster.

College student cleans messy dorm room littered with clothes with leafsnow blower

'Maybe change is a good thing.'

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

'Not likely - the last time I went in one of those, it sank!'

"So I bought this doohickey that is very good with chaos."

'What a lot of fuss, fancy being afraid of an 'itsy-bitsy' little mouse like this!'

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

"My name is Van Gelsing, Madame. I'm an expert in cleaning teenagers' rooms. If you need me, just give me a call, okay?"

The inevitable conflict of interest facing every crisis manager.

"Mr. Carley, would you like to begin today’s session?" "Claustrophobic's therapy session today at 2:00"

"Papi, I heard something!"

'Dino never could stand heights.'

'Hello Doctor. I'm Ed Shannon and these are my neuroses.'

Artist Disappears When A Moose Shows Up

'Dr. Wit specializes in treating patients with a fear of low places.'