Carnivorous Chucklers Gifts

"Sometimes I just want a nice salad."

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

World of Cow.

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

Servant Painting Targets Around Arrows Shot by a King

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

"Well...this constant badness is just sooo wearisome...."

'You've all been whining a lot lately, so this week's sermon is from the 'Book of Lamentations'....'

Erm...what the hell is cud, anyway?

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

'Does the suicide clause apply if he eats himself to death?'

"I keep getting into a flap."

A real turkey lunch.

'Time's up, chuckles.'

Joes Vegetarian Restaurant, where the chef tucks into a steak

"Have you tried hitting the rewind button?"

"There's only one of them roaming around now. The others are in self-isolation."

'Curses on historical perspective.'

"I've found it the easiest way to administer nose drops!"

"Yes, I'm vegan and no longer eat the prey animals but it's still a lot of fun to kill them!"

"One man's meat is another man's beloved pet."

"I don't know what it is, but there's something about them that really gives me the creeps."

"Will you help me round up my 38 sheep?" Yes, 40.

'Weren't you our newspaper carrier years ago?'

"They say the mortality rates could be as high as 3%..Better buy more toilet rolls!"

"Is it true, cows have four stomachs?"