Couch Sports Legend Gifts

Indoor Football

Pete Sampras

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'Hey, wait for me!'

'John is watching the game under protest.'

Captive Audience at the World Cup.

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

Couch and Potato

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

"Arthur, the bird's gone and done it again."

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

"What time is it?" "Half past World Cup."

"When did this game get started?"

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

'That's a full ten minutes with the TV off. What now?'

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

'Well, at least there's no chance of you suffering from repetative strain injury.'

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

The Bronze Age of Television

'Next on News 7...GM offers to bail out the government in the event of a shutdown...'

"Have we scored yet?"

"If the packers lose I'll eat my hat."

'I've been transferred again.'

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

"I am a control freak."