Couch Sports Legend Gifts

Indoor Football

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

'Hey, wait for me!'

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

Couch and Potato

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"Arthur, the bird's gone and done it again."

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

'Well, at least there's no chance of you suffering from repetative strain injury.'

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

'That's a full ten minutes with the TV off. What now?'

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"When did this game get started?"

The Bronze Age of Television

'Next on News 7...GM offers to bail out the government in the event of a shutdown...'

'I've been transferred again.'

"I am a control freak."

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

"Have we scored yet?"

'School sports day - fat boys playing computer game'