Cosmic Map Reader Gifts

'Recalculating!'

You Are Here

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

'Oh man, we are so lost...!'

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

Excess Baggage: By the time the male of the species admits he is lost. It is generally too late.

"Well what does the GPS say?"

Having been born with a birthmark that looks exactly like Asia and the Mideast, Russell was able to ace the geography portion of the SATs.

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

'It was only 500 yds across but as he visualised the GPS blind spot the risks seemed immense.'

"According to the map, the treasure should be right behind that door."

"I told you it was a book you couldn't put down."

'Typical man - why can't he just ask for directions?'

"Well, guys... I guess we'll just have to ask Siri where we are." "No! Don't do that!" "Yeah! We know exactly what we're doing!" "Dude! Have you forgotten our credo?" "Society for the refusal to ask for directions."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"According to the map, we should be nearing the North Pole, but something tells me we’ve been reading the map upside down."

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

Can I have a look at the map?

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

'Sorry I'm late everybody,I got lost.'

'Are you going exploring or retrieving a duck?'

'It doesn't show it on this map....'

'So much for your internal compass.'

"And up ahead is a place called, 'portage'."

"You have reached the edge of town."

(Maps to the Homes of the Steers) (Maps $ 100)

Geography class - UR Here.

'Sorry, I'm a stranger here myself.'

"You are here"