Cosmic Reader Gifts

Library Space Travel Section,"There you are sir,one small step for man."

God uses the universe as a reading light.

"I told you it was a book you couldn't put down."

Take two aspirin, and quit reading your horoscope.

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

Where cartoon characters go on holiday...

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"If the universe is expanding, that's all the more reason to get back to the city."

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

dog reading EKG

Of course I believe your 'Alien Abduction' story...

'Harnessing the Black Hole.'

"If the universe is expanding by 3 trillion cubic light years per second, why can't I find an apartment?"

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

'I think that's always how it's been!'

'Do you ever wish the Big Bang would have been just a little bigger?'

The fifth generation computer thinking it over- 'Now that there gone I'll get to work on the sixth generation.'

"... Now, turn left and go in a straight line for 60 trillion miles."

'There it is. Just above Orion's Pants.'

'That book is not available in this solar system, but we can order it for you.'

Bug to bug: 'Do you think there is life on other plants?'

'Recalculating!'

Entropy Seminar.

'It's THEM.'

'Captain! Our onboard anti-virus software did not prevent a virus from going where no virus has gone before.'

'Asteroid, asteroid!' ... 'Fore!'

'So we're 52 light-years from home... and now you tell me that you think you left the stove on?!'

"Whoa! In 7 billion years, the sun will expand and engulf the entire planet, melting away any evidence it ever existed!"