Quirky Map Reader Gifts

'I know where I am - where the hell is my ball!'

You Are Here

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

Great British Eccentrics.

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

'Oh man, we are so lost...!'

"Well what does the GPS say?"

Having been born with a birthmark that looks exactly like Asia and the Mideast, Russell was able to ace the geography portion of the SATs.

Excess Baggage: By the time the male of the species admits he is lost. It is generally too late.

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

'It was only 500 yds across but as he visualised the GPS blind spot the risks seemed immense.'

"According to the map, the treasure should be right behind that door."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'Typical man - why can't he just ask for directions?'

"Well, guys... I guess we'll just have to ask Siri where we are." "No! Don't do that!" "Yeah! We know exactly what we're doing!" "Dude! Have you forgotten our credo?" "Society for the refusal to ask for directions."

'Oddly enough you're the third person to buy that today!'

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

Can I have a look at the map?

"According to the map, we should be nearing the North Pole, but something tells me we’ve been reading the map upside down."

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

'Sorry I'm late everybody,I got lost.'

'It doesn't show it on this map....'

'Are you going exploring or retrieving a duck?'

"You are here"

An explorer sees a sign in the jungle, which reads: 'You wiil be here'.

'Sorry, I'm a stranger here myself.'

'So much for your internal compass.'