Cosmic Eater T-Shirts

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

Kelly's worst nightmare was realized when, during a specially frantic binge, she devoured the entire planet.

"This year we decided to vacation on the 3rd rock."

Today's special... donuts.

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

Flying sauces.

"It's the dawn of a new era"

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

'We studied the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper today. May I have an ice cream cone?'

"Whatever it is, we're up to our necks in it!"

"...Ooh, I wanna know more about your dark side!"

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

The Origins of Everything

"Stargazing sure is less painful at night."

Leaving a Real Impression: That's one small step for (a) man, one giant leap for mankind.

Sm. Pepperoni & Mushroom Cloud

"Going to Mars sounded like fun. Do you think we can get dad to finance it?"

Mars Poppins

Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, in all the solar systems, in all the galaxies, in all the universe, she walks into mine.

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

"The bagels are better in New York."

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

"If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore, and preserve for many generations the remembrance of the city of God which had been shown! … Emerson" "Good boy!"

An alien dog hangs its head out the flying saucer.

Space shuttle helping to unlock the secrets of the universe.

God passing the time.

Are you interested in UFOs? Advanced life forms? Free medical screenings? Alternative underwear? Snacks and refreshments? Non-sexual turtles? Reverse pound cake? Science? Join us.

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

Why Radio Astronomers often strike out.

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

Trying to describe the size of the Big Bang.

Astronaut grilling on the moon and watching his sausage fly.