Existential Eater T-Shirts

Cafe Philosophique

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

Chiller Theatre

"Why bother?"

Today's special... donuts.

"Needs to get a life"

Pastorius wonders why.

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

Extreme Sisyphus

Optimist

"You need to justify your own existence first."

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

He doesn't howl at the moon. He prefers to howl into the void.

"Life after death"

Sm. Pepperoni & Mushroom Cloud

"But what if this is all there is?"

"Is this who I am?"

"All a cat CAN do is strive for authenticity."

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

Fyodor Dostoevsky

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

"Has it ever occurred to you just to say, 'Hey, I quit. I don't want to be a part of the food chain anymore'?"