Existential Snacker T-Shirts

One smart cookie

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

Breakfast surreal.

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

Well, O.K., so you found fast food, but what's the hurry?

'Don't take it personally... he doesn't know I'm here either.'

Cafe Philosophique

'We've been through thick and thin. Tell me about the thin again.'

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.

"You're not going to believe this -- they're making deep-fried manna."

"That summit Johnson! Our goal is the summit!"

"Aw. I thought you said Pizza tonight."

Sometimes, instead of one big meal, I prefer tapas.

Pope-Corn - the Pope cooking his own brand of popcorn

'I'll have the Pollack salad, and a glass of house wine.'

"Dad, what is a meal?"

Book Burp

"Pizza lover's pizza"

I can't find the artisanal Pop-Tarts.

Suddenly, God gets the urge for an Earth cream cone.

'Are you genetically modified? - Then you'll love our G.M. food.'

"Yeah, he calls me his best friend alright, but he's never shared his hot chips: not once!"

And so begins another evening of serious hobnobbing

'Most people wouldn't wantonly eat the hors d'oeuvres if they hadn't read the book.'

Vending machine has options of THIS, THAT, HEM HAW.

'This diet is killing me! -- Last night I dreamed that I ate Willy Wonka!'

Bakery. Any weight I lose can easily find me again by following the trail of crumbs.

"Now that you've brought it up...what's for dinner?"