Cosmic Comedy Club Gifts

Sky dive: Wrong kind of wind.

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

"Houston, we have a problem."

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

'You caught it, you gut it!'

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'Gravity...Go figure!'

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

Science fiction fans on other planets

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

The Origins of Everything

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

Alien flies in a spaceship out of a postbox.

'No not there. Let's try it over here this time...'

Shoot For The Moon

'Boy, does this ever shoot holes in the old Big Bang Theory!'

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

The Older Testament: An Origin Story

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'