Cosmic Humor Enthusiasts Gifts

'Students, this little sun began as an off shore oil spill.'

"I think that I've discovered the first comet with a pony tail."

"I didn't design mankind to be a short-sighted, self-destructive, ravening plague upon their planet. They figured that out all on their own."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

God Sneezes Out Creation

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

Clown God

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

Hey, how was space? Fine. Jeez. The adolescent astronaut.

Black Hole Research Institute - Office only has IN tray - no OUT tray.

"We've come all this way to destroy their planet only to find they're doing it themselves!!!"

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

'Don't be silly - the sun won't burn itself our for another 5 billion years. Bedsides, the Earth will have been smashed to smithereens by asteroids long before that.'

"Sorry to bother you again but I forgot to ask you to fill out our service evaluation questionnaire."

"Shall we put it in play?"

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

First Contact

"Wow! - String Theory must be true after all..!"

"Does someone want to go on a space walk? Who wants to go on a space walk....?"

Mars Rover

'And the actual value of the Hubble Constant is critical to the question or whether our Universe will continue to expand forever, or...POP.'

'A globe warming party?...Guys, you shouldn't have!'

You are Here

'Hey, I said I was an enchanted prince! I mentioned nothing about being from earth!'

"I knew it!"

Black hole-in-the-wall at Jodrell Bank

"That's want I call a meteor shower!"