Cosmic Humor Gifts

He's very defensive about his personal space.

Climbing to the moon

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

God Sneezes Out Creation

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

Clown God

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

Save Our Universe

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'You caught it, you gut it!'

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

'Gravity...Go figure!'

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

Science fiction fans on other planets

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

The Origins of Everything

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

Shoot For The Moon

'No not there. Let's try it over here this time...'

'Boy, does this ever shoot holes in the old Big Bang Theory!'