Cosmic Comedy Gifts

'Don't you think it's strange that it's called mooning when the moon never actually shows its backside!'

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"We only got six days of funding."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

God Sneezes Out Creation

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

Clown God

'You caught it, you gut it!'

'Gravity...Go figure!'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

The Origins of Everything

"The inhabitants of Pluto today declared Earth not a planet..."

Science fiction fans on other planets

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

Alien flies in a spaceship out of a postbox.

Shoot For The Moon