Cosmic Comedy Gifts

'Don't you think it's strange that it's called mooning when the moon never actually shows its backside!'

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"We only got six days of funding."

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Houston, we have a problem."

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

God Sneezes Out Creation

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'You caught it, you gut it!'

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

Clown God

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

'Gravity...Go figure!'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

"The inhabitants of Pluto today declared Earth not a planet..."

The Origins of Everything

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

Science fiction fans on other planets

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

'No not there. Let's try it over here this time...'

Shoot For The Moon