Cosmic Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"All of Earth's problems seem so small up here, compared with the whistling sound Rodriguez makes in his sleep."

'I've notices something very disturbing about asteroids...they look just like turds...very large turds...'

"The asteroid has what looks like a small rear end on the back of it."

'I didn't even know they were THERE until they started nuclear testing.'

"Whoa. Have you lost weight, professor?"

Angels give God a joke - a box with an earth on a spring inside.

'And so thanks to my dad's waistline I now understand the theory of our constantly expanding universe!'

'Intriguing theory, Dr. Kleinherz, but the fact that the Universe is expanding doesn't necessarily mean that God is a capitalist.'

Bait & Tackle

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

God Telescope

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

Man, my cat sneaks into the weirdest spots.

God Sneezes Out Creation

Clown God

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

Hey, how was space? Fine. Jeez. The adolescent astronaut.

Black Hole Research Institute - Office only has IN tray - no OUT tray.

"We've come all this way to destroy their planet only to find they're doing it themselves!!!"

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

'Don't be silly - the sun won't burn itself our for another 5 billion years. Bedsides, the Earth will have been smashed to smithereens by asteroids long before that.'

"Sorry to bother you again but I forgot to ask you to fill out our service evaluation questionnaire."

"Shall we put it in play?"

"Does someone want to go on a space walk? Who wants to go on a space walk....?"

Mars Rover

"Wow! - String Theory must be true after all..!"

First Contact