Cosmetic Curator Gifts

"Beauty comes from within."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Paul Klee

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

"I think he was a celebrity."

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"I was almost that last year."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

'Projectile painting.'

Shoe addict.

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Painting taking root...

It's a call from Tate modern.

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

Couple Sitting in Front of A Sunset.

'I could do that.'

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

Rodin's Browser

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

Children's Art Show.

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"Now this I get."

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

"Good artists borrow, great artists steal."

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'