Vanity Curator Gifts

'Seth, please bring me a copy of every search engine article that mentions my name in a favorable light. I need an ego boost.'

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Shoe addict.

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

Hat Boxes, in the Closet

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

'Cosmetic surgery.'

TV-Mirror.

'Mommy puts on a disguise every time, before she goes to work.'

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

"And that's me as a shepherdess!"

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

A woman and her home simultaneously achieve 'casual'.

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

'A crack team of scientists searches tirelessly for a cure for baldness.'