The Vanity Collector Gifts

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 3- Street Lamps Lighting a Lady's Toilet Mirror

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

Jack in the box on strike.

Woman applying makeup

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

Posh Easter Egg

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'This thing better hold. I don't know about you, but I don't find plan B very reassuring.'

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

'Okay,stay close, and stay alert! Looks like we're heading into BIG CAT COUNTRY!'

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"More concealer?"

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

TV-Mirror.

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

"And that's me as a shepherdess!"

'Mommy puts on a disguise every time, before she goes to work.'

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

Man trying to catch a saxophonist with butterfly wings.

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

'I know how you feel.'

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."

Extreme Vanity Press - Fall, 2007