The Vanity Collector T-Shirts

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 3- Street Lamps Lighting a Lady's Toilet Mirror

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

Jack in the box on strike.

Woman applying makeup

Posh Easter Egg

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'This thing better hold. I don't know about you, but I don't find plan B very reassuring.'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

'Okay,stay close, and stay alert! Looks like we're heading into BIG CAT COUNTRY!'

"More concealer?"

Krest Yellow Strips. (Rat performs dental hygiene.)

"And that's me as a shepherdess!"

TV-Mirror.

'Mommy puts on a disguise every time, before she goes to work.'

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

Man trying to catch a saxophonist with butterfly wings.

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

"We're running a little late. The Mrs. is still putting on her face."

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

'I know how you feel.'

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."