Modern Vanity Explorer T-Shirts

Dorian Gray views a Selfie

The Vineyard

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 3- Street Lamps Lighting a Lady's Toilet Mirror

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

"Knapsack? It's a solar-powered, bluetooth, Wi-Fi, self-charging, two shoulder GenPak with smartphone charger and GPS."

Public footpath on a desert island.

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

You Are Here...Your Nearest Wi-FI Signal Is Here.

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

Modern camping

Old MacDonald had a data farm. AI AI O.

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

"It's post-gingerbread."

"With the latest in GPS technology embedded into my phone, who needs a map anymore?"

'Cosmetic surgery.'

Krest Yellow Strips. (Rat performs dental hygiene.)

Vanity artist

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

TV-Mirror.

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

"Why? Because without documentation, this would be lost to history."

Gadget freak.

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.