Closet Curator Gifts

121-130 pounds. 111-120 pounds. Someday

"Does my overdraft look big in this?"

'This is a disaster! The end of the world is near and I've got nothing to put on!'

"Gary brought me a new wardrobe at the weekend - Now I've just got to buy some new clothes to put in it"

A woman and her home simultaneously achieve 'casual'.

Shoe addict.

'Do you like my new dress dear?' (Price reads - An arm and a leg)

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"

'I'm returning this outfit. It's not in fashion.'

"You really need to get rid of these clothes if you want to stop being mistaken for a historical re-enactor."

Hat Boxes, in the Closet

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

You had me at vintage.

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

"The new house is almost ready!"

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

"That shirt is so last year."

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

If You See Something You Want, Whine!

"John B.: Best Entertainment Value for under $1.79"

"Can you de-schlump him?"

Closet.

My own museum.

'This closet needs digitized.'

"You know your dog better than I do."

'And this is the walk-in clos..' - 'We'll take it!!'

'You must have something in my size?'

Literary Dogs.

"This would be perfect! If it were a different style, in a different color, from a different store."

"That? - oh my husband - a closet bricklayer."

We're all litigation crazy. Last week I had to sue my wife for joint custody of the closet.

"Actually, I don't read much, they're just background for my video calls."

'I guess you'd call it a queer request. He wants his ashes put in a fruit jar and hidden in the closet.'

"Oh, I love this! The huge walk-in closet comes with it's own master bedroom!"