Bookshelf Curator Gifts

"Actually, I don't read much, they're just background for my video calls."

Literary Dogs.

"That's what happens when you're past your shelf life."

Tolstoys R Us

Paul Klee

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Shoe addict.

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

It's a call from Tate modern.

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

'Projectile painting.'

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Couple Sitting in Front of A Sunset.

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

You had me at vintage.

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"

Board Game Hunter

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

Crane Game. Ball Game.

Books / Coffee table books

"He begged his wife and kids to join him in Tahiti, but he didn't mean a word of it, the bastard."

The perfectionist.

'We'll take two sets, for upstairs and downstairs.'

'I don't know whether to put it in for the Turner Prize or go for the Poet Laureate.'

"That must be the artist over there."

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

'Mint?! These taste like cardboard!'

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

"I could do that."

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

Francoise Gilot

Kapoor & Piss-poor (Anish Kapoor sculpture beside Marcel Deschamps urinal)