Vintage Curator Gifts

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Paul Klee

Diner.

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

The original paperless office

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

It's a call from Tate modern.

Early Colour TV

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

"The following film has been formatted to fir the screen of the newer and more expensive television set."

'Projectile painting.'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

Couple Sitting in Front of A Sunset.

That's supposed to say garage sale!

You had me at vintage.

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

Board Game Hunter

Pre-Television Man Caves

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

Roasted

'I don't know whether to put it in for the Turner Prize or go for the Poet Laureate.'

Clock and Watch Shop: Second-Hand Clocks and Minute-Hand Clocks.

JET (Part I)

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

Gadzook used armour. Only one careful owner.