Classic Curator Gifts

You had me at vintage.

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

'It's a Joan Biro.'

Misunderstood artist

Shoe addict.

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

'I imagine you'll be asking for a full refund.'

Convenience.

The Rise of Modern Art

Frederic Auguste Bartholdi

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

Board Game Hunter

Three street vendors sit side by side selling their art; two of the vendors are selling normal paintings while the third is a Neanderthal selling cave paintings.

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"

"The new house is almost ready!"

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

Leaves falling out of a painting.

"When it's that old, you don't need to add 'A.D.' or 'B.C.'"

"It's Chicken Mole!"

"Typical venue, just providing male washroom facilities!"

"Still-Life of New Mexican Grilled Quail with Cilantro and Fennel-Flecked Confit."

"This is one of her more important paintings from her early period."

"Don't you find her work just so wonderfully liberating!"

'I'm having a private showing over on my grandma's refrigerator next week.'

'Thank goodness next week we'll be in a new dynasty and we can make some other style of pottery.'

'Mint?! These taste like cardboard!'

Closed for Renovation

"Hmmm...I wonder what the artist is trying to say...?"

"He painted 300 pictures in his lifetime. 1000 of which are in England."

Modern Portrait Gallery

Please do not touch the art. Please touch the artist.