Aesthetic Curator Gifts

'Excuse me. Could you point me towards the books that would look impressive on my bookshelf?'

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Paul Klee

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

"I think he was a celebrity."

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

'Projectile painting.'

Painting taking root...

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

It's a call from Tate modern.

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

'I could do that.'

Couple Sitting in Front of A Sunset.

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

Rodin's Browser

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

You had me at vintage.

Children's Art Show.

"Now this I get."

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

Baby vandalizes an art gallery.

"Did Melina Mercouri ever get those marbles back to Greece?"

Rodin's Cloakroom Thief

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

"Good artists borrow, great artists steal."

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'