Appearance Curator Gifts

"I understand the house is a mess inside."

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

"I was almost that last year."

Shoe addict.

'You must be awfully secure in your masculinity.'

"That shirt is so last year."

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

Hat Boxes, in the Closet

A bald eagle approaches middle age

A woman and her home simultaneously achieve 'casual'.

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

'I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth!'

"Sheesh, I did NOT say we have to redo everything! Just look at some swatches with me."

"Do you have something cheap but with a really expensive label?"

"Can you de-schlump him?"

"He's so ostentatious about how un-ostentatious he is."

'Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out, if I'd gotten Mom's eyes and Dad's hair.'

'A neighbour of mine has just come in - put 'em in a size 4 box, will you?'

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

'You must have something in my size?'

"This would be perfect! If it were a different style, in a different color, from a different store."

'Over the years our company has acquired a face of its own.'

'Excuse me. Could you point me towards the books that would look impressive on my bookshelf?'

"Actually, I don't read much, they're just background for my video calls."

'Anything else you want fixing, while I'm taking the mole off your nose?'

'Do these tight jeans make my top look big in this...?'

"The gentleman opposite would like to buy you more time."

Hike Difficulty 1. Instagram Worthiness 8.