Image Curator Gifts

'No-one buys these stylish frames for their eyes, usually it's for their Facebook photo's.'

"It's good for my image."

'Over the years our company has acquired a face of its own.'

"Vanity alert! Jerry's coming with his selfie stick and he knows how to use it!"

Hike Difficulty 1. Instagram Worthiness 8.

"Hold it right there, ma'am! If you get too close to the artwork, I'll have to ask you to leave the gallery."

Paul Klee

"I think he was a celebrity."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

TV-Man

Photographer Phone: 'Okay everybody, SMILE!'

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

It's a call from Tate modern.

'Projectile painting.'

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

Painting taking root...

'I could do that.'

Couple Sitting in Front of A Sunset.

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

Children's Art Show.

Rodin's Browser

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

"Now this I get."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

Baby vandalizes an art gallery.

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

"Did Melina Mercouri ever get those marbles back to Greece?"

Rodin's Cloakroom Thief