Online Image Curator Gifts

'I'm tagging some unflattering photos of friends, so my tagged photos don't look quite so bad.'

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

Photographer Phone: 'Okay everybody, SMILE!'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'When you do the article, is there any way that you can squeeze the factory into the picture?'

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

"Yes, Your Honor. I am Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

National Archives

'Over the years our company has acquired a face of its own.'

"That's your granddad - amazing what they can do with filters these days."

'Oy! Zadie, I think we need a bigger house!'

'She's responsible for the smoking ban.'

'You look exactly like your website.'

"Your best bet is photoshop."

Can you make me slimmer, get out some grays, and reduce my wrinkles? Oh, so what you're asking is that I leave and come back ten years ago.

"I'm not saying she's obsessed, but every single photo on her phone is of her person." "Awww, that's her napping."

Dorian Gray views a Selfie

'Save or delete...decisions, decisions..it's just like being at work!'

Hike Difficulty 1. Instagram Worthiness 8.

'For me, an experience just isn't real until it's been digitized.'

'What bothers me is that we all look so successful.'

"And here's a shot of us showing you pictures from our last vacation."

Woman in bed , with photos of her previous boyfriends above her head. (New boyfriend about to get in bed.)

"You're suffering from defective media image. What you need is a spin doctor."

"We'll make you appear smart, but a little inarticulate - instead of somebody who is stupid and doesn't know what he's talking about."

'When he comes down do you mind if I take a snap for the album?'

"I understand the house is a mess inside."

"Install that, then uninstall that. Open that, then close that. Update that, then delete that. Run that program, then end that program..."