Online Persona Curator Gifts

Bird of Paradise as social media

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

"I have a personal blog, therefore I am!"

'Enjoying a snifter of brandy by the fire...'

'Something that'll get me googled,'

Miserable man holding a balloon with smiling face.

Man chooses head from cupboard.

"Of course I have an imaginary alter-ego. You'll find it on Facebook."

The first thing I'm doing is deleting all my old Insta photos.

Types of online-ing

'Save or delete...decisions, decisions..it's just like being at work!'

'You look exactly like your website.'

'I'm making sure my self-inflated Wikipedia entry corresponds to my self-inflated Facebook profile.'

"I keep changing my profile picture."

"And here's a shot of us showing you pictures from our last vacation."

Public Speaking Shoes

"Well, if you can't accept me as I really am, have you seen my Facebook page?"

'Talk about snooty. She was listed as 'most likely to be googled' in the class yearbook.'

'I'm tagging some unflattering photos of friends, so my tagged photos don't look quite so bad.'

"It's nothing personal. I just enjoyed your online presence better."

"Install that, then uninstall that. Open that, then close that. Update that, then delete that. Run that program, then end that program..."

'According to your social network activities, you're a man-mad, boozy little hussy. You can start working here tomorrow.'

'You look exactly like your tweets.'

Bloggers Anonymous.

"I need to change my life...I'll just change my profile."

"That guy isn't really famous...just Google famous."

'Not the 'Grizzlydog2576'? I love your posts!'

'Can I have a few minutes to update my profile page?'

"I want my profile picture to scream 'personality'."

'I don't need therapy, but my alter ego on Facebook really has some issues!'

'My Facebook profile pic is my face Photoshopped onto a heavier person's body. That way I look thinner in person.'

"....and please make my life as interesting as I make it look in Facebook."

"You appear to be more interesting on you website, than you actually are"

"You might want to tone down that profile."